Riku and Larxy and Relationships (Long journal)

so as I said in discord highly inspired me to make a journal similar to hers butnowherenearasgood about the relationship between my Oc Larxy and her cannon character love interest Riku and how their relationship works. I'd like to put a little disclaimer that like every good cannonxoc shipping creator, my Riku or rather Larxy's Riku is an AU version based and built off of the cannon character. Some things will be slightly different, others taken right out of the story Nomura has crafted.

If I could really pinpoint a good place to start, how about when they first met? Larxy and Riku were FAR from "love at first sight" and never in their development has this ever been a factor. Larxy was told stories of keyblade weilders by her mother and father at a young age as bedtime stories. The harsh world and reality made her grow up to believe they were just fairytales and would never be real. So how do you usually react to finding out something you thought and grew up believing in was completely wrong? The first time she ever saw a keyblade was when she met Riku, and it made her immediately throw up her guard. She saw him as shifty, stranger, alien even. He was running around taking heartless down like it was nothing. Power to Larxy= danger. She has lived with this mentality for years due to her mother's Heartless.

"Ok so they were the typical love hate right"

No

If it were true "love hate" Riku would be drastically out of character. Riku is cautious but in a different way than Larxy is. He doesn't see so much danger in others, but in himself and how he reacts to them. He sees everyone as innocent unless they prove otherwise because the reverse of this mentality is what lead him to trouble. He tries to look deeper and not just see people at face value. In short he gets under Larxy's skin, but unlike people who have attempted to do this in the past he doesn't try to change anything. He lets her be as she is, and only seeks a deeper understanding. He's surprised that someone his age also knows what a Keyblade is and it sparks his curiosity. He wonders just how world wise she is when she seems to be too impulsive and careless to really get a grasp on the big picture.

And that's because Larxy has another layer she keeps so well hidden that not even her family has seen it in its entirety.

On the outside she is feisty and impulsive and temperamental, but she's impulsive because she's afraid of letting herself become weak and allowing herself to shut down if she stops and thinks for too long about what she went through. She's feisty because she learned the hard way that no one wants to hear her sob story; they want to just get on with their own lives. She's temperamental because she has so many emotions and so much insecurity building up that it comes out as rage, and she wants to keep people away from her because of this. She may seem like a fire that can't go out, but in reality that flame is struggling to keep itself burning.

Riku is the earth that fuels that flame

He is calm and collected and tries to see things while not necessarily "rationally" but from as many angles as possible. He sees her anger and her spite but what he doesn't see or sense is darkness. He sees some of his former self in her, and that's what really confuses him when he doesn't sense any excess darkness within her. He meets her mother and sees she is a kind gentle and compassionate being, her father is very loyal and protective, and even though her brother can be a bit of an asshole he cares deeply for his sister and wouldn't wish ill will on anyone. So this is why he keeps trying to see more of what Larxy is. The circumstances don't add up. She has a doting family and seems to lead a rather healthy lifestyle, so where is that anger coming from?

And the answer comes when she has her first episode around him

She just...stops. All that fire and passion just drains away from her. She's reduced to a terrified broken husk of her former self all within a matter of seconds. She keeps muttering "I have no worth. I'm broken. I'm alone. There is no happiness for people like me." Words like this were exactly what Riku was feeling not even a year ago after breaking himself of "Ansem's" control. He had no place, he was destined to be lost. Sora was the hero and he would never be anything more than "the hero's friend who turned evil" to himself and others. This is one of the reasons why he chooses to hold her.

Now touch to Larxy is an interesting conundrum. Before reuniting with her father and brother she had completely forgotten what it was like to be held, to be hugged, to be touched in any other way than abuse and harm. Even in her time on Radiant Garden when she was young no one was really "physical" with her. Her brother wasn't the touchy feely kind of kid. He showed his affection and approval through gestures and expressions, and their caretaker was the same way. The last time Larxy had been "hugged" in her life was when she lived on Amensia with her family. So you would think that this hug from her brother and father would be welcomed right?

You would be wrong

Larxy now knows these are the people that are supposed to love her...and she is supposed to love in return. The problem is she has no connection with Norso whatsoever, and her connection to her father only exists in the form of their one chance meeting. But, this is her family. She's supposed to feel safe and warm in their arms, right? There's a pressure there that perhaps she is only putting on herself, but she can't help it. It's literally something she can't help but do to herself. So when they touch her and it feels stranger, she feels like she is doing something wrong.

With Riku, there is none of that pressure. There is none of that awkwardness that comes with "I'm supposed to be happy about this" there is no pre-expected feeling, so she is truly able to relax. She is truly able to feel what it is to be "touched" without any filtering or distraction. Therefore she has a very powerful and vulnerable response when Riku touches her. She cries. She is able to learn herself that she enjoys the feeling of his arms around her and it makes her feel safe. And from Riku's point of view this is exactly what he hoped for. Riku has been known to have a protective instinct, but he still fears that if he leaps into the heat of battle he will only end up hurting others by pushing them away. So instead, he develops an instinct. Think back to Kingdom Hearts 2 when Saix "force pushes" the gang out of the battle arena so he and Sora can properly face off. Now remember, Kairi knows that the guy who looks like "Ansem" is Riku. He is allowed to be himself around her without having to put on a façade. He doesn't push her out of the way, or try to resist Saix's push. He wraps his arms around her and puts his back to the danger. He covers her. This is the way he knows to protect people, to cover them and give them a safe strong place where they can collect their own strength again and get back in the fight. This is one of his way of showing approval and encouragement.

Larxy has a wall built up, and it's gotten bigger and harder to break overtime. Riku in his instinct to give her a safe place has in essence created a wall around her own, so she realizes she can start breaking hers down. When I said in the past that once you break her wall down you have a loyal friend for life, I meant it. If you take the time to listen to her story, she will never complain when listening to yours. If you see worth in her and remind her to have worth in herself, she will never knock yours down by calling you stupid or pointing out your flaws or things that make you less of a person. However the way she shows her approval is very difficult to get used to. Larxy didn't receive a lot of praise throughout her life. It's still a foreign concept to her and something she is trying to grasp. For example: Suppose you lived in the KH universe and you just learned the ability to give you the highest possible jump. Instead of saying something like "Nice jump" Larxy would probably say something more like "I'm sure that's the highest you can go." To most people this sounds off-putting and even rude, but her intentions behind it are anything but negative. She isn't saying, "That's it?" She's saying,  "It's great to see you working to your full potential." Riku understands this because even though he did receive praise, his personal journey has made him feel like he doesn't have much of a leg to stand on when offering praise. He too still struggles with his own worth. It has far improved after the events of DDD, but there is still that doubt. So when he hears her say "I'm sure that's the highest you can go" he hears the compliment behind it.

They each doubt themselves so much, but one never doubts the other. They build each other up in the ways that they can't do themselves.

And this is why Larxy doesn't have to be around Riku 24/7. He has given her the strength she needed to start tearing down that wall and to be vulnerable. To stand up to the world that destroyed her for so many years. She doesn't have to be in his arms anymore to feel safe, but just remember his voice and silent approving nods. She just needs to know that he is always on her side not physically but morally and spiritually. This is why he can go off to save the universe and she can be ok. But this is also why when he does visit Radiant Garden she wants to spend as much time as she can with him, and wants to hold his hand. She's not touchy feely with anyone else, it's him. It's his touch. It's his smile. It's like a weight is taken off of her shoulders. She is no longer pressured to have as perfect memories as she can of him to keep herself going; she can just go with the flow of life when he's there. Their relationship is very relaxed. One doesn't pressure the other to "try something new" because they already are trying something new by just living a relaxed and confident lifestyle. Sex for them is very dependent on non verbal cues. They never ask, never talk, it just happens when there is the right feeling, when they are in sync to do it and can show that to the other through body language, and almost always Riku will wait for Larxy to initiate because he feels that this is one small way he can give her control over her own life. 

"Gee, that sounds kind of boring. Where's the spice and surprise?"

Well that's not to say there isn't some spontaneity to their relationship. Riku will lay the occasional unexpected kiss on the cheek or whisper something to her just because. He'll plan surprise dates and activities for them and Larxy in return will surprise him by dressing up a bit or saying something very personal or leaving him a note the day he has to go back so that he has something to show she's always with him. But that's the thing. The spice for them comes from the little things. They don't have to do anything and are just perfectly happy being in each other's company. They can have a lazy day of just watching a movie or even just laying on the couch just because. That's how safe and whole they feel with each other. Normally Larxy has to CONSTANTLY be doing something to be happy, but with him there is no pressure of that. With him she feels that what she is doing, living and fighting and trying to open herself up is enough. 

Of course there can be a downside to that. When you place so much trust of yourself and rely on someone else to feel like you are enough and complete, the distance can be extremely hard. She is always afraid that Sora and Kairi are going to return home oneday and her happiness will die with him. So there are times when she seems to take a step back, and this can frustrate Riku. He seeks continuity and consistency, and when she is not delivering this it can make him think he is doing something wrong. So instead of just asking her why she is doing it he immediately jumps to the conclusion that it's his fault. And when you internalize something like that it can cause a rift to form. So...they argue. Larxy just wants him to ask the question, to show that he notices she's not acting like herself and seek to help her with that, but Riku just wants her to admit that it's his fault and tell him what it is he's doing wrong. So it can lead to a huge blowup, where finally in the heat of the moment they both blurt out exactly what it is they feel. The thing is though, this isn't abuse or an unstabling factor because they are both equally angry and equally guilty in causing the situation. So they'll realize that and work it out in the end.

I understand if people still see reasoning as to why they shouldn't be together and even outright hate them but I hope in my ramblings those who wanted more explanation and development between them found it here. They are FAR more than just "Stubborn Tsundere likes the hot mysterious guy" and I really hope people see that now. Hate if you want, love if you want. All I ask is that those who love now love for the right reasons.